They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
