Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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