i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dear god my vagina.
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