Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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