as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
