ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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