so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize