I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
