Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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