Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
