oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
