dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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