i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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