ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just gargled with NyQuil
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
