And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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