I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
