those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
