she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
