So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
