I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
