You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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