dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
smell my finger.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
