just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
