even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
