super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
