Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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