I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
