pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Randomize
