I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
