he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
