I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
