Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
