He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
