Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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