I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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