Michael Bay diarrhea
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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