census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
