A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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