I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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