im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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