I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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