It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
