You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Of course I have a pirate flag
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
