In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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