you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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