I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
