Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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