There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
