Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
