I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
