end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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