We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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