It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
