Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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