fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
