Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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