i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
