I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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