if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
