When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
