You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
