every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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