I heard we made out
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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