I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
