I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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