yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
