that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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