hell yes lets make some ravioli
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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