I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
