You work out of a Hotel?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
