Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bring me that man meat
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
