Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize