you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
